As an elementary school art teacher, I’m constantly hearing quotable kid thoughts that I need to keep track of to entertain myself and my friends. I think I’ll keep them here:
A Fourth Grade Class: Joseph and two friends arrive early. As the rest of the class comes in, Joseph notices Britney, a big time “Valley Girl”, talking nonsense (“Like, Oh my Gaaawwwd. Like, no way!”) and tossing her hair around. Joseph turns to his friend, rolls his eyes, sighs heavily and says:
“Don’t you just WISH you could meet a rational woman?”
***
Conversation at a 2nd grade table where students are discussing my art ability:
Kenya: “She’s the best artist ever! She knows EVERYTHING!
Gary: “No she doesn’t!”
Kenya: “Ohhh, I’m telling!”
Gary: “I mean she CAN’T know EVERYTHING! Sure she’s really great at art, but she probably can’t read!”
***
Kindergarten students are gluing and cutting paper at their tables. I hear David singing to himself about glue and then about paper so I go over and talk to him…
Me: “You really like to sing, huh?”
David: “I’m in the choir because I love Jesus!!”
Carlos: (Looking bewildered) “I don’t know Jesus.”
***
Kindergarten students create pictures featuring all 5 senses in one summer themed picture. I go around to assess…
Me: “Tell me about your picture, Phong. What do you see?”
Phong: “I see flowers!”
Me: “What do you hear?”
Phong: “I hear birdies!”
Me: “What do you feel?”
Phong: “Grass because I’m not wearing shoes.”
Me: “What do you taste?”
Phong: “I’m eating an ice cream cone.”
Me: “What do you smell?”
Phong: “Rotting zombies!”
***
2nd Grade: Drawing original duck architecture…
Taylor makes a pet store AND a cherry store on the same paper. The cherry store doesn’t fit on the page completely so the sign reads “herry Store”. Gary sees this and says, “HAHAHAHA! Your store is hairy!!” Taylor quickly adds to the sign, “Everyone Welcome Except for Gary”.
***
(Kindergarten)
Nick: “My teacher is a professional. I know you’re a professional teacher too, but she’s a REAL professional ’cause she’s been on TV.”
***
(1st Grade)
Ian: “Did it hurt the Kangaroos when God cut out their pouches?”
***
(2nd Grade)
Phuc: “Is it true that if I don’t put on SPF100 I’ll turn into a bacon?”
These are hysterical!
These are great! Too funny!
Thanks! I wish I could remember more of them.